This week, I thought about what it means to be an Aspie, as I do for every blog. I have decided that an important part of Aspergers is to be mentored or mentoring. Just like a traveler who has lost his way, everyone needs a good mentor to direct them in the right ways of living life. Please remember that this is a blog about autism and Asperger's. I will try to show with my limited knowledge what can help with mentoring kids or young adults with the condition and ways of being more socially acceptablemainly in the ways of being social.
I know that us Aspies are a good bunch of people, who just need a little bit of guidance and understanding. Unfortunately in today's society where everything needs to be based around perfection we end up being treated badly. That's why I assist in mentoring in a school in western Sydney; to help young children better understand themselves, the world around them and that we do see life differently.
So what does mentoring involve? Well obviously it's no easy thing otherwise every man and his dog would be mentoring other mentors about mentoring mentos. Even though there is no record of the oldest case of 'mentorism' though the origin of the name dates back to an ancient Greek story called The Odyssey. That's a 'by the story' of how I got the title of an 'Aspie Odyssey'! Okay! go home now, lesson over.
Only joking! Lets talk about mentoring. So, how do you start mentoring? It doesn't start by going up to a random kid and saying, "I'M MENTORING YOU!" Trust me, that is an incredibly bad way of starting off. I guess you are always learning and as an assistant mentor you learn even more about Autism and what hardships the kids go through. Due to my talks, my interviews for both newspapers and radio programs, with the added bonus of being a future leader people have been asked me for advice and help with taking care of their autistic relative. I have always been more than happy to talk to these people and offer my opinion, if you are one of those people, and are reading this I would just like to say thank you for being brave enough to talk to me. Yet thank you also for having enough faith in believing I could give you good advice.
I assist Christine Taylor in mentoring the children and hopefully show them a better path to being accepted by others. Christine chose me because of my ability in public speaking on the subject of living with autism. She approached me regarding the mentoring and felt I would be a good assistant in showing the children not only how to make a computer game but also to socialise and communicate. Christine told me how important it was to get to know the person before becoming their mentor. Kids or anyone with Asperger's may take a little longer to get to know someone. It might be a simple case of trying to remember a name or trying to understand that the person is here to help them. he most thing I have found is that this process has to be done at their pace. To force someone into doing something they are not used to will make them resent it, and that's the last thing you want to do.
After we have become more accepting of each other, it is then time to start to create the mentorship which will hopefully light them a better path for a brighter future. I find out what their true likes are, whether it's music, Minecraft television or films. Once I find out their passion we start talking about that. Let's say it is chess. I will play against that person and through the game I will teach them such things as strategy, learning to lose pieces tactically and that losing isn't a bad thing. Unless your life is on the line (note to self, don't play backgammon with tribal people). Aspies really need someone who they can trust and you need to appeal to who they are. You can't hold a conversation with someone who likes Star Wars by talking to them about how Buddhism works. Now that we are working well together its time to start sorting out their peculiarities and irregularities. In this way I can give them hints about how to improve their social and communication skills.
Nobody is perfect, everyone has something they need to improve on e.g employment, motivation or love. My friend Emma(dynamite lady and a completely fantastic woman to talk to) is another person with Asperger's who is a future leader like me. She takes care of children with disabilities. She had a student who was non-verbal. After getting to know the kid and mentoring him, he was able to say to his mother " hi" and " I love you". That takes a special person to achieve something like that.
Once we understand who the child is as a person, we try to sort out the differences and help develop them into someone greater. Before I started TAFE I went to an orientation program created by my now good friend Berinda. When the other autistic students and I first met, we looked at the sky, and everywhere else to avoid eye contact or conversation. As time went on we became more open as she and her dream team mentored us about body language and eye contact so that by the end of program you couldn't shut us up!
Remember we find mentors wherever we go. I met Anthony Warren,(a fantastic professional) who showed me how to improve my public speaking about growing up with Aspergers. My auntie Nicole taught me about working hard and being motivated and my tutor Christine showed me time management skills and organisational skills.
So what did I learnt his week?
This week I learnt that you shouldn't turn texting into a nagging exercise I love talking to people, I am sure many of you know that. Unfortunately so much of today's communication is texting where as I would much rather talk face to face. When it comes to texting I don't exactly understand when you are supposed to write and when you're supposed to read. I guess I get impatient and by the time they read the message I have already sent another two or three!
Alright folks that's all for another week of blogging. I guess I would really like to see more people communicating face to face than sitting in a circle and texting each other.
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